This blog came about when doing the Create Our Desires exercise.  One of the things challenging me lately was figuring out why it was so easy to find and develop product and service resources and yet so hard to find individuals and businesses who were looking to purchase a product or service of mine or a resource of mine.

When doing step 4 and 5 of Create Our Desires (which can be found in the Course section under Motivation), I began to focus on my goals, and more so on the finding of clients.  Although many may think finding buyers is the key, I would imagine there are some people with buyers but lack control of the services to meet the clients needs.  They say real estate agents with the listings are the power broker in the deal. 

Maybe listening to the webinar at Stanford U. the other day by Prof. Neal made an impression when she said it is far more important to focus on the highest goal than on focusing on the least desirable, but still accpetable outcome.

When I focused on my goal, i.e. getting more "buyers", it felt good.  It felt different than imagining getting more "seller" resources.  Was this a yin-yang male-female difference?  At first I thought yes, ok, maybe I am too male focused and need to balance more.  But, then that difference between buy and sell resource began to change shape.  In fact, they became more similar. 

Then I began to write questions, what I believe are functional questions, the type that were mentioned in Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, that states the way to get un-stuck is to realize man and machine aren't different, that there is non-dualism involved.  When we realize this and get back to quality, we will start to ask more functional questions.

Then I started writing down buyers and sellers that I have had over the past several years.  Recently, I had been wondering if the resellers I represent could in fact become buyers of my services.  Some of them are.  Others not.  Could buyers become sellers?  It seems to be that both could happen: buyers could become sellers for me and sellers could become buyers for me or of my services/products (S/P).

Question:

1. How is dealing with buyers different than sellers?  How are they the same?
2. In relation to me (or another consultant) what is the buyer and what is it's purpose?  What is the seller and what is the purpose?
3. When is a seller buying?  My contact in China initially responded to an ad I placed looking for assistance setting up a Learning Management System (LMS) which ultimately became www.WeBridge.org.  He agreed to develop my site (buying his or his programmer's time) with the hope of selling to me and my clients in the future. 

The bottom-line is there is no difference between buyer and seller.  It is a non-dualistic relationship.

What follows is more information about how buying and selling are two sides of one coin. 

• Doug agrees to sell others' (S/P) (buying his time, resources, etc) with the hopes of selling in the future or them selling me (which is really buying their time) for me.
• One has to buy in order to sell.  One has to sell in order to buy.
• Buy 1 hour piano lesson - What are you selling?  You are selling to others you won't be around for that hour.  Selling yourself to relinquish (buy) the time, cash outleigh, etc.
• Selling 1 hour of my clients virtual expo service.  Selling to others I won't be around for that hour.  Selling self won't sell others (S/P).  Buying that 1 hour of limited time and energy. 
• When you are selling a product, you are at the same time selling other things as well as buying.
• When you aren't selling 1 hour of virtual expo services or any other (P/S) for that matter, you aren't selling yourself to not sell other (S/P); you aren't buying that 1 hour of limited resources.

How does this affect getting to the End User who wants to buy from me?

• When I am selling mine or other's (S/P), I am also selling and buying others (S/P), some of which are mine.
• When I am buying other's (S/P), I am also buying and selling different (S/P), some of which are mine.
• Buying and selling aren't separate, thus they are non-dualistic.  They are a paradox.
• When other's are buying (S/P) from/through me, they are also buying and selling other (S/P) from other and themselves.
• When others are selling (S/P) from/through me, they are also buying and selling other (S/P) from others and themselves.

Furthermore,

• When I say I have plenty of selling resources, I have plenty of buying resources as well.  I also say I don't have enough selling resources.
• When I say I don't have enough buying resources, by definition, I also say I have enough buying resources.  I also say I don't have enough selling resources.

Buyers and Sellers:

• How do buyers differ from sellers? 
• How are buyers and sellers the same?  Both hope to use the least amount of resources (time, $, effort) to perform their task.
• The product (what the seller is selling and what the buyer is buying) is arbitrary/relative in value, depending on one's perspective.

More still,

How do I communicate with sellers differently than I do with buyers in particular questions I ask?

• To sellers, I ask them to justify aspects of their (S/P). To explain and define and show their (S/P).
• To buyers, I ask them to compare; ask them about their goals and to keep in mind their business plan when purchasing.  Remind them about ROI.  To focus on what they are getting rather than the cost.

My father told me why worry what the other is getting when what I am getting is good.

In order to sell yours or others (S/P), you have to find commonality/likability with yourself, other's (S/P) or those sellers you are helping to sell their (S/P).

In order to buy for yourself or help others buy (S/P), you have to find commonality/likability with yourself , other's (S/P) or those buyers you are helping to buy (S/P).

How come it is easy for me to contract with and promote others (S/P) (selling) than it is to contract and procure for others?

How do I reconcile my hope to make $100,000/year with the desire to help people get the best possible deal on their purchase?

Quote: "If you want to learn how to sell, pay attention to how you buy."

For therapists hoping to sell their services:

• How do you buy counseling?
• How is it different than your other purchases?
• How are your small, medium and large purchases different?  Similar?
• How do you think your clients/future clients think about purchasing counseling from you?

Assumption: Your clients will purchase counseling much like you do. 

Do you agree?

How will this mesh with how much you hope to make?

What steps can you take (Change selling/buying habits, introduce passive/alternative incomes, etc) to make sure your professional income goals mesh with your way of doing business?

What are the advantages / dis-advantages of the way you purchase items?

What is your sales style?  Advantages?  Dis-Advantages?

How would your sales style mesh with your buying style?

What do you like/dis-like about buying? Selling?

William Cohen in "Negotiate This" notes it is easier to go into a sales negotiation with at least one other person on your side.  How do you feel about promoting (selling) others?

How long does it take you to feel comfortable before promoting others?

"The Buy/Sell Paradox"